Never Have I Ever
by Fafsernir
Summary: Being part of the Torchwood team didn't mean chasing aliens or retrieving artifacts every time, but also some nice time together.


_IN CELEBRATION OF IANTO JONES' BIRTHDAY, HAVE A CUTE FIC! :D (not about his birthday... But still.)_

 _Anyway, I wanted to post something for his birthday but didn't have time to write a new fic, so I'm posting a one I wrote some time ago with the whole team laughing and happy, as they should be for the rest of time._

 **(my own) Prompt Idea "Never have I ever, with alcohol (bonus point if ship starts making out while playing with friends and/or if one doesn't manage to say it)"**

* * *

"Never have I ever had a threesome, or more," Gwen laughed as Jack instantly drank.

"Do I drink again if there were way more than two others?"

Owen shook his head while drinking too. Tosh was going to talk when she noticed something odd.

"Ianto, did you just drink ?"

The young man blushed. He had tried to be quiet but he could count on Tosh to see everything.

"Was it with Jack?" Owen asked, apparently intrigued.

"No. I was young and..."

"You're still young. It was like, what, three years ago?"

"Ugh... yeah, at uni."

"I didn't know that!" Jack seemed genuinely surprised... and interested.

"It was two girls, can we not talk about that?"

"Sure. So that's my turn?" And Ianto knew that Jack would talk about it again, once they were in some place a little bit more private. Let's hope he'd forget but there wasn't much hope.

* * *

"Never have I ever been to space," Ianto smiled.

"Are you trying to get me drunk?" Jack laughed after drinking. Ianto just winked at him and Jack had trouble focusing on Tosh rather than Ianto.

"Never have I ever been engaged," Tosh said, a bit guiltily.

"Oh come on I feel like this one is for me..." Gwen sighed as she was raising her beer. Tosh shook her head. She hadn't had Gwen in mind at all but that worked too. Jack drank quickly too. Owen hesitated a second before drinking. Ianto took longer. Tosh sent an apologetic look but he shrugged then sipped. He felt Jack's hand on his lower back and was glad it was there.

"You were engaged once?" Gwen seemed surprise. Owen put his hand on her shoulder and just shook his head. She seemed to understand, a bit too late. "Oh I'm sorry sweetheart, I didn't know..."

"Doesn't matter," Ianto whispered.

Owen took pity and quickly talked. "Never have I ever fucked my boss." He seemed pretty proud of this one and it seemed to work on Ianto.

"Now I feel like Owen is trying to get me drunk," he laughed. "I am not ending up in bed with you, though."

"Does that mean I get to be in bed with you?" Jack innocently asked. Ianto patted his knee and laughed, nodding.

* * *

They kept going for a while, putting new beers in front of them until there were none left in the hub – at least not close enough of them. Gwen had given up, feeling sick, and was just lying on the floor, laughing sometimes at a sentence or at who was drinking.

"Never havever I..."

"That's it, I think we lost Ianto," Owen laughed.

"Ever I..." Ianto giggled for a while. "I've never been fucked against a wall."

"Are you asking?" Jack winked at him.

"Aren't you drinking?" Ianto retorted. Jack pouted and drank.

"What?" He asked as he finally looked at someone else than Ianto and noticed the team watching them.

"Well... we didn't need to know that, did we?" Gwen nervously asked from the floor.

"Why hasn't Tea-Boy been fucked yet?" Owen seemed to be intrigued once again by the sexual life of Ianto, which was a bit weird in a way.

"Oh he has. Just... not against a wall. He doesn't trust me," Jack faked a hurt expression when really, he didn't mind how he had sex as long as he had sex.

"You're too weak on the knees when you come..." Ianto whispered against his ear, except that he didn't quite whisper it and there were protestations from the team not to go further into details. Ianto laughed and kissed Jack briefly before looking at Tosh, pretending not to notice Jack's hand that had slipped under his shirt in his lower back as they were kissing. Nobody could see it and he liked the feeling of Jack's fingers on his skin.

"Never have I ever... I don't know... met the Doctor," Tosh sighed. Jack drank as soon as she finished the sentence.

"Meet, like talk to him or does seeing him count?" Ianto asked.

"Been in the same room."

Ianto nodded and drank then frowned. "But... you've met him, Tosh."

"... Damn! I was trying to find something for you I totally forgot that!" She sighed then drank. "Not fair... you're supposed to be drunk Ianto, leave me alone."

"Never have I ever had sex in the lock cells," Owen said, not sure. But both Jack and Ianto drank. "I knew it! That's just gross."

"I'm out of the game the next time..." Ianto said as he leant on Jack's shoulder, no longer able to stay still with Jack absent-mindedly stroking his back.

"Never have I ever had sex in a spaceship," Jack proudly said, drinking instantly. Ianto smiled and nudged at his neck.

"Are you trying get yourself drunk now?" Ianto quietly laughed in his neck and kissed his nape when he felt him shivered. Jack gasped and clenched his fists to control himself.

"It was the only thing I found for Owen," he managed to articulate. The doctor scoffed and drank.

"Oh shit I'm out. How come Jack's not the first done? I'm pretty sure he drank more than us. Did you cheat?"

"I had more actually, but it was when we still had plenty of bottles. Good strategy, sorry Owen, that's the game," Jack answered, trying to ignore Ianto against him but having big trouble focusing on anything else that his breath or his lips against his neck. God didn't he love that feeling. Nobody said anything to Ianto, though it was his turn. He was kissing Jack's neck and after a while stopped.

"Never ever have... fuck... never have had... oh come on..."

"Never have you ever..."

"Yeah, that. Thanks Jack. Uuugh... lasted less than fifty-two seconds in bed."

"Oh come on! That was just once... you took me by surprise..."

"I didn't!"

"Wait, wait... are you guys timing your performances?"

"Yes," they answered at the same time, both looking at Owen then at each other.

"It was the first time you did that, it just felt incredibly good!"

"Yeah I noticed that. But fifty-one seconds."

"Well... You didn't... all right, all right you can hold yourself back much longer... it doesn't mean anything!"

"Ugh... guys, guys. Still in the room," said Gwen with a laugh, but a bit nervously. She didn't want them to talk too much about things none of the members of the team really wanted to know. They were already way too much implicated in their colleagues' sexual life to add anything.

"Okay, never have I ever surprised my parents in the middle of..."

"Ewwh Tosh! That's just gross!" Owen exclaimed, obviously trying to erase images from his mind.

"I couldn't find anything else..." She sighed, relieved, when nobody actually drank.

"Okay that's enough for tonight. Never have I ever gave a blow-job," Jack said, drinking. "Come on Ianto, just finish it. You're out and this game is over, I don't want to hear anything gross any more," he added with a laugh while Tosh and Ianto were drinking. They both finished their drinks and Jack pushed his away, almost empty.

"Heyy, you won!" Ianto said, apparently impressed, and... happy? Okay, probably drunk.

"Looks like it," Jack answered with a smile. He kissed Ianto's hair and breathed in his scent through the alcohol.

"Oh, don't you think you deserve a reward?" Ianto asked, kissing his jaw then his neck again.

"Oh I have plenty of ideas..."

"Yeah? Care to share with me or make a list?"

"I'll do more than sharing in a minute..."

Ianto laughed against Jack's shoulder and kissed him on the mouth, his fingers ghosting over his ribs. He smiled under the kiss when Jack shivered, and leant back just a bit to look at Jack in the eye and smile evilly, so slightly and deliciously tickling him, biting his own lip. Jack didn't give him a choice after a moment and just pressed his lips against his, and gasped when Ianto's fingers really caressed his skin.

"Never have I ever been turned on by gay office porn."

Usually, Ianto would have pushed back at the first word. But he barely flinched and kept kissing Jack, on the neck again – not that the immortal was complaining.

"There isn't enough left for us all to drink!"

The team laughed at Tosh's exclamation following Owen's statement. Even Ianto, who stopped kissing Jack but didn't move and put his arms around Jack to hold him against him.


End file.
